LOCATION
THE ROYAL NORFOLK HOTEL, BOGNOR REGIS

MONDAY 23RD FEBRUARY 2009
11.15am – 11.25am

C A S T.

DEAN KELLAND…..TONY
THE RECEPTIONIST…..HERSELF

Written by DEAN KELLAND

The Royal Norfolk hotel in Bognor Regis is situated on the Esplanade with many of the rooms overlooking the lawns, promenade, and sea. In 1962 whilst filming “The Punch and Judy Man” Tony Hancock stayed in Room 17. On a dull February morning Dean arrived at the hotel.


THE RECEPTIONIST: (Australian accent) Good morning sir, how may I help?

(Cheerful introduction from the receptionist)

DEAN/TONY: (In manner of Hancock) I would like to check in please. I called yesterday, I don’t know if it was your good self that I spoke to. I’ve been here before…Hancock. I asked if you had the same room, the one from 1962?

THE RECEPTIONIST: (Looking slightly confused) Oh, you were the gentleman who wanted the suite weren’t you. Yes I remember we have that room for you. Room 17 wasn’t it?

(The receptionist turns her back momentarily to locate the correct key and then places it on the counter in front of Dean)

Would you like to just sign here Mr Hancock.

(The receptionist marks a cross on the bottom of the checking in sheet)

DEAN/TONY: Yes just before I sign in, it is really important to me that I stay in the same room. It is the right one, Hancock, 1962?

THE RECEPTIONIST: (Still slightly confused) Yes, that’s the room we talked about on the phone yesterday.

(The receptionist covers her uncertainty at the situation by appearing as positive as possible.)

Just sign there Mr Hancock.

(Dean takes the Homburg hat from his head and places it on the counter next to the form. He takes the pen and signs in using the name Hancock. He suddenly realises that this will prevent him from using any payment cards in his own name.)

DEAN/TONY: I’ll be paying in cash if that’s OK. I’m quite old fashioned you see.

(Dean picks up and returns the Homburg hat to his head as he awaits a reply.)

THE RECEPTIONIST: Yes, that’s absolutely fine.

(The receptionist runs through the hotel regulations and times for breakfast before wishing Dean a pleasant stay.)

Breakfast is from 7.30am until 10.30am, Tea making facilities are in your room but if you require anything just dial zero to get through to reception. Your room is on the second floor, go along the corridor here and up the stairs to your right and you’ll see room 17 is along the corridor on your left. Do have a pleasant stay Mr Hancock.

(Dean looks at the space above reception and then along the corridor)

DEAN/TONY: I thought you’d have some pictures on the wall from the last time I was here; you know old black and white images to commemorate the event so to speak?

THE RECEPTIONIST: (Looks very confused and smiles politely without responding verbally)